Monday, February 23, 2009
O.k I have a question that I need the answer too.......If you knew a relative or friend was being cheated on, not hear say but facts do you think you should tell them? or keep it to yourself?? which one is worst keeping to your self or telling your friend with the chance of hurting them either way ??? and if you said not to tell the person, is that what you would want for yourself??????
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6 comments:
You say nothing cause when you tell the person they tend to think that you are lying or making up stories and they never usually leave the person anyways so it is a waste of time and at the end you look like the bad guy or just plain ole mix up
I have to disagree with the first comment. In my opinion, if you are a true friend or family member you tell your friend or family member. Deceipt is a horrible thing to involve in any relationship whether it be friend or family.
Think of it this way, given the worst case scenerio, say a man is cheating on a woman, having multiple other partners, and the woman doesn't know. If that man contracts something (like HIV) from one of his other "women" and then gives it to your friend/family member, how would that make you feel knowing that you could have prevented this if you had just let them know.
Yes, your friend or family member may not do anything about it, they may choose to stay in the relationship. And yes, they may even have negative comments to say towards you. But know this, when the smoke clears, and they are thinking from a logical point of view and not out of hurt, they will appreciate you looking out for them.
My opinion on the cheating thing is this. It is an extremely selfish and discrespectful thing to do. It's one thing if the two people involved in the primary relationship are aware of the others actions and accept to deal with it. But, for instance, if a man is cheating on a woman, he has given himself the option of being with multiple partners, and exposing himself to whatever nastiness he could be exposing himself in being promiscuous. If he does not let the woman he claims to be in a relationship with, or any other woman for that matter know, then he is depriving her of the right to make that same decision as to whether or not she wants to be in that predicament.
At the end of the day, whether or not you tell your friend or family member what you know you have to answer to yourself. Do you feel like a real friend and/or family member by withholding this information? And can you deal with the repercussions "When" your friend and/or family member finds out about the cheating and that you knew?
If it were me, I would want to know. If you have facts to support it, there is no reason for your friend or family member to think you're making it up.
Tell them what you know, show them the evidence and leave it up to them as to what they want to believe. A true friend doesn't hide things from their friends, and should be able to express themselves, and give their friends information without fear of the reaction....real friendships outlast these things, especially when you have/had their best interest in mind.
I WOULD TELL, CALL ME AN INFAMA, SAY MI CHAT TO MUCH WHATEVER YOU WANT CAUSE IF IT WAS ME I WOULD WANT SOMEONE TO TELL ME WHAT WAS GOING ON ! SO I CAN MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE. THATS WHEN YOU NEED TO HAVE THE ATTITUDE
" IT'S NOT THAT I'M COCKY
I'M JUST BETTER THAN YOU !"
Of course u should tell. Why would u want someone u care about to get hurt. Your friend will hate you now, but thank you later.
Personally i'd want to know. Most humans would agree to let it be untold as "what ya don't know won't hurt you". However I myself like knowing so half my battle of being or feelin humiliated is over.
Tell them! Especially if you know/think/assume/guess/etc they've gotten to the point of not using condoms (as per the next posting) And even if they don't believe, when they do find out (because they will), they will know who their true friends were from the get go.
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